So I have assessed my situation and realized that somewhere between here and there, I’ve become very sad, without really noticing or trying to prevent it. I listen to sad music and read sad books or sad poetry and I make sad little coughing/sneezing noises all day. I didn’t intentionally become sad, I thought I was doing all the right things to be happy. I work, I save money, I put myself in a position where I have no real worries, at least not financial ones. I go out, I see people, I have a fun job. I make jokes at work. I have only just realized today that all the jokes are hollow, one dimensional jokes, and I’d like to believe that formerly I was funny in a much more clever way. I’ve also realized that I’ve been selfish with myself, using work as an excuse to never see or call anyone that would notice anything amiss. I have to wonder how long I’ve been sad. How much time have I put into it? I’m not sure. It is strange to think that less than half a year ago, I was on a farm, and even if I didn’t love every minute of it, I was definitely doing something. I’m not sure that is true anymore.
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
When I wake up next to someone, I start focusing on my breathing and in that moment, I always feel like me breathing is as disturbing as an Earthquake.
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"
for real though I was telling my mom yesterday about how I am excited for some new socks
Hey there Albus
†MERRY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS YA’LL GIMME DAT PUSSY†
I’ve asked before but…marry me?
we need our own show
I’ve decided the only thing to do is travel. When you live a scandalous life at home, you’re a mess. When you live a scandalous life on the road, you’re adventurous.
I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.
Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho
If there were a map of the solar system, but instead of stars it showed people and their degrees of separation, my star would be the one you had to travel the most light-years from to get to his. You would die getting to him.
Miranda July, No One Belongs Here More Than You